In the past couple of years I've become a lot better acquainted with loss. Family members and friends-who-became-family-members, leaving spaces behind that can't be filled.

One of those gaping spaces belongs to my friend Lisa Heyman, who died in February 2008. Months before, our families had visited Plimoth Plantation, and Lisa and I had spent some happy time in the gift shop picking out a crochet hook for me and some yarn and knitting needles for her. The last few times I visited with her she was using those purchases to make a very long scarf for her husband, Larry.

A few weeks ago Larry, Roxy, and Fire came to our house, and brought along the almost-completed scarf so that I can finish it.


As I began to work on it, weaving in the loose ends, I found myself thinking about the loose ends that are inevitable in any life. In some ways, we don't get to choose what things will be left undone. But by carefully choosing and living our priorities, as Lisa did, we can be sure to leave the important ends tied up.