Thursday, November 29, 2007

Ok, someone who prefers to remain nameless has told me to play...

On my next birthday I'll be forty.

That's supposed to freak me out, I think, but so far I'm ok with it.

I want to go so many places. I've always wanted to go to Africa and Australia. And Fiji. But a trip around the world, staying with people who live there, not in hotels, is something I very much hope to make happen.

My favorite place is the beach. Any beach. This one would do nicely.

Favorite object: books. Lots and lots and lots of books.

Ah, ice cream. It's always been my favorite food. I can, and very often do, eat it every day. Chocolate, please.

Favorite animal. That's really hard. If it's not a rodent, I love it. I guess I'd pick the People of the Forest. But don't tell my puppies!

Favorite color: purple.

Everything looks good in purple.

I have a lot of nicknames. I love nicknames and I'm glad so many people have made up names that they think suit me. The first one that came to mind is Blue, which is what my brother-in-law calls me.

I was born in Dorchester, Massachusetts, at St. Margaret's Hospital.

Last and least, I bite my nails.

I think it's really gross, but I'm going to keep doing it anyway.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Dagny's on vacation, traveling from friend's house to friend's house, so Rowan and I are doing lots of fun things to help us not miss her so much.

Friday we took a trip to the salvage store, where Rowan found a homemade dollhouse just waiting for her to fix it up.

Saturday we had a visit from Amy, Luis, Taye, and Darius. They enjoyed meeting Lucky, a very friendly and patient black lab we are puppy-sitting, who hardly seemed to notice there was a baby climbing all over him.

When Lucky decided it was time to go for a walk, Darius turned his attention to Ro-ro (whose name he said for the first time that day!).

They were having so much fun that Lucky decided he wanted to get back in on the game.

The Oroscos are going to Peru next month and wanted to get some winter coats to bring to Amy and Luis' nieces and nephews, so we all drove up to the thrift store. Rowan found just the teacup she wanted to use with her teapot.

We thought about going roller-skating on Sunday, but ended up having a quiet day instead. By Monday Rowan was ready for action, and luckily Chloe was able to come over. For ten hours they played and laughed and talked and did giggly things with everything from food coloring to vinegar to shaving cream.

So we're having fun. And I'm very happy that Dagny is having a friend-filled adventure. But I do so miss my baby and her partner in crime.

They're stopping at Ren's next week. Any bets on whether they come home with another cat?

Friday, November 16, 2007

Lately I've been wondering about the distant future. And about my children's children's children. And the age old question of why a heterosexual guy can't tell a heterosexual guy that his bootie is fly. And why oh why the bird has one leg and no wings.

Wasn't it Confucius who said, "You can learn an awful lot about a person by seeing what makes her laugh"? No? Well, that's why I said wasn't it .

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Fifteen years ago this moment - 2am on November 16th - I woke up to the sound of Jon quietly singing. It was a song that had never been sung before. A song newer than the baby he sang to. I opened my eyes long enough to see him rocking, staring into new eyes with love whose enormity I recognized, singing his song in a voice I had never heard before. I stayed awake long enough to realize my baby was safe and happy and my husband had undergone some sort of transformation while I was busy with the messy joy of birthing.

Fifteen years ago, on the afternoon of November 15th, Jon, with immeasurable awe, told me (and everyone who came to visit, including the nurses) that he could literally see his baby's eyelashes growing.

Fifteen years ago, at about 7:45am on November 15th, a woman who was not aware of exactly what was going on in my room popped her head in to ask me if I'd like a muffin, and laughter added muscle to the work my body was doing, work which ended only a few minutes later, at 7:48am.

Fifteen years ago, at about 3am on November 15th, we drove through a sleeping world, more awake ourselves than we'd ever been in our lives.

Fifteen years ago, at about 11pm on November 14th, I noticed that my water had broken. Not in the cartoon explosion kind of way I had expected, but instead in more of a, "I think this means my water broke. Do you think this is what it's like when your water breaks?" kind of way. As we waited to see how things would progress Jon slept and I read about the birth of islands. Read the same two paragraphs over and over with little understanding as 99.99999% of my brain thought of contractions and love and finally, finally meeting the person I'd waited more than 24 years to meet.

Years later, I returned to James Michener's Hawaii and revisited the portion that helped me through the beginning of my labor and planted an image of mighty waves that I pictured when I felt my own towering waves - contractions that felt like nothing I had ever felt, like nothing I could ever describe, and that brought forth not islands but a joy that would dwarf all that came before.

"Millions upon millions of years ago, when the continents were already formed and the principal features of the earth had been decided, there existed, then as now, one aspect of the world that dwarfed all others. It was a mighty ocean, resting uneasily to the east of the largest continent, a restless ever-changing, gigantic body of water that would later be described as pacific.

Over its brooding surface immense winds swept back and forth, whipping the waters into towering waves that crashed down upon the world’s seacoasts, tearing away rocks and eroding the land. In its dark bosom, strange life was beginning to form, minute at first, then gradually of a structure now lost even to memory. Upon its farthest reaches birds with enormous wings came to rest, and then flew on. ~James Michener, Hawaii

Tonight Dagny rests. Someday, when she's ready, she will fly on, and when she does she'll carry with her a love whose enormity grows every day, every minute, every second.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Maeve and I like to talk to each other. Sometimes she calls me on the phone and sometimes we go somewhere nice together. We talk about Diego and teeth and trapeze bars and scooters and babies and love and doll houses and when she is RuRu and I am Maeve and candy and TV shows and puppies and what we like and what we don't like and who is my mama and holding hands. We think holding hands is a good way to love.

This week when we were on the phone I said, "I love you Maeve" and she said, "I love you too. Jinx, you owe me a soda!" So I owe her a soda, and I will hold it for her but I will not drink it.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Monday, November 05, 2007

A few months ago Dagny told me she'd like to find someone to help her learn more about photography. Suddenly there was Karen-the-photographer (not to be confused with KarenKaren) - a new friend we instantly liked so much, and who takes amazing pictures. She's taken Dagny on a photo shoot and shown her all sorts of things about my camera that I never knew.

We've had some great weather this fall - 80 degrees in October! We spent one beautiful day at Memorial Park with the Dorseys and Karen-the-photographer (or as Rowan likes to call her, "Dagny's mentor") and her kids, Will and Olivia. I convinced Dagny to play hooky from a doctor's appointment and I had the same feeling I used to get when I decided to spend the day at the beach rather than at school *G*.

There was river wading, a play, a log battle, extensive wood collecting, and a pool of leaves that stopped us in our tracks.

We ended the day at the Dorsey's house with Barbie torture and a whole lot of mud for Rowan and a snuggle with Olivia for me.

A very good day.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Apple picking at Honey-Pot Hill Orchard became a tradition when Dagny was really little. It's the only orchard we've been able to find that has the all important combination of trees we can climb and cider donuts.

This year, since Honey-Pot (true to it's name) is a very hilly place and apple picking involves a lot of walking, I spent most of the day laying on a blanket, hidden behind some trees, reading Blessed Unrest. The weather was amazing, and while I missed the actual apple picking, I had a really nice afternoon. By the time everyone came back I was filled up with sunshine, happy to hear all the stories and see all the pictures, and ready to go get some donuts.

We've been talking about a tree house for a long time and one night when everyone was home it just suddenly started to happen. I love those projects. The un-planned for, hey we're all here, wanna find some scrap wood and build a tree house? projects. Of course, like any good project it has taken on a life of its own, becoming more complicated and involved as time goes on.

Jon, Rowan, Dagny, and Andrew have been working together to come up with plans they all like and to put it together. I don't know if I'm authorized to give any details at this point, so I'll just say that it's being worked on with the typical Dagny/Rowan concentration and determination, which mixes nicely with the Jon/Andrew (my lord they're so much alike!) steady-capableness-masked-with-goofy-behavior.
I'm going to try to make up for my disappearance from blog-land over the next couple of days. We've done lots of fun stuff over the past few weeks, usually coming home to new discoveries. (The windows are done! The house is blue! Ah, the joy of actually hiring someone to do the work for you. It's like magic. Very, very, expensive magic.)

Over the years I've noticed that when I'm in a lot of pain I shut myself down to the minimums physically and mentally. Which, in this round of pain, has meant that after doing whatever fun stuff with the kids I can do I'm spending a lot of time lying down. And it's meant that the loud and persistent 'owww' echoing in my head doesn't leave much room for thinking, talking, paying bills, or writing blogs.

I got some more MRI results back. To top off (literally :o)) the scoliosis and herniated discs in my lumbar region, they found a couple more herniated discs, some arthritis, and degenerative disc disease in the rest of my spine.

I'm off to a spine specialist on Tuesday morning, along with a huge stack of MRI films.

I'm relatively hopeful that I won't hear the word fibromyalgia :o).